December 2018
The First Message
I had just gotten back from the Philippines after attending my cousin's wedding and was ready to jump back into dating apps, having taken a short break before going on vacation. I had been on various dating apps for the past year but hardly got matches. What can I say? I'm picky. I decided to re-install Coffee Meets Bagel after not using it in over a year. It wasn't my favorite app, but I wanted to open myself up to all options. Jess is one of the first people I'm shown while getting on-boarded onto the app. I noticed a picture where she's with a bicycle and luckily she has a picture without sunglasses on! I think she's cute.
We match! Now I need to figure out my first message. This is an art I haven't quite figured out yet but studied up on. I've read several articles about how to approach the first message. Do I comment about bicycle in her picture? Do I make a pun about something in her profile? Maybe I should just say, "Hey."
I noticed an unusual detail about her not liking bananas. I carefully craft my message: "I hope strawberries have been better to you."
January 1st, 2019
The First Date
We chatted in Coffee Meets Bagel for about a week. We noticed it was going to be unusually warm on New Year's Day so we talked about riding bikes together for a first date. I propose meeting up at a cafe midway between Williamsburg and Parkside at 10:00am. Jess agreed but with a caveat about the time, which was when I realized I wasn't thinking straight. I also had plans to party in Bushwick for NYE. We were out until 4:00am, but I was still game to wake up by 9:00am. I was just excited to meet her in person.
When I wake up I see a message from Jess about delaying until maybe around noon or 1:00pm. This then turned into 3:00pm. Eventually she suggested a cafe much closer to her (which I didn't know at the time). I agreed. I didn't mind making the 30-40 minute ride through Brooklyn—besides the weather was nice.
We eventually met at Streetsweeper Cafe. She was wearing a Selena shirt and big earrings. I was so nervous. I sipped my double mocha a bit too quickly and got very jittery but kept my cool. We ended up chatting quite a bit and the time flew. After coffee she asked if I've been to Le Frak. I hadn't so we decided to walk over. She said her place was along the way and wanted to drop her bike off. I realized she only lived 2 blocks away from the cafe (why did she even bring her bike? why is she showing me where she lives on the first date?). We continued to Prospect Park and walked by the ice rink until the sun startted to set. We said goodbye, she didn't mention the hill through the Prospect Park loop on the way back and the winter temperatures returned. It was rough ride back home but it was worth it.
January 7th, 2019
The High Five
It was only a couple days after our first date and Jess mentions that she will be in my area for a work event. She asks if I want to "high-five" before she goes down into the train station which I think is an odd request. I ask if she wants to stay a bit and grab dinner instead. She says yes! I recommend Emmy Squared, a pizza place in Williamsburg. We get some food and talk for quite a while. Before we know it it's already 11:00pm and they're trying to kick us out. I offer to call her an uber home since I don't want her taking the train so late at night.
January 9th, 2019
Ootoya
I ask Jess out on a third date, this time at one of my favorite restaraunts, Ootoya. By this point it feels like we've known each other for years. I get the feeling that I can spend a lot of time with her and never get sick of her. Our conversations are always so invigorating. I really want to keep seeing her.
January 24th, 2019
Our First Kiss
I met Jess after work for dinner, at her favorite place this time, Khyber Pass. Afterwards she tells me about a speakeasy spot inside of a sushi restaraunt, Angel's Share. It was crowded, but we luckily are able to take 2 seats at the bar. As we're talking she had put her hand on my knee. Afterwards we decided to walk the extra distance towards the Union Square station where we could both catch our respective trains home. I remembered it was cold outside and my eyes got teary from the cold wind. Jess asks why I'm crying. I noticed we were passing by Sticky's Finger Joint and I tell her it's because I love Sticky's. She laughs at me. When we walk down into the subway and pass through the turnstiles it's time to part ways and say goodbye. I go in for a kiss and she accepts!
March 10th, 2019
SXSW
I was headed to Austin, Texas for a week to give a talk at South by Southwest. Just a few weeks before the trip Jess had asked how I would feel if she tagged along. I said I would be happy if she could make it out. I was planning to do the whole thing solo as I have in the past.
Jess is able to fly in a day or so after I arrive in Austin. I pick her up from the airport. We go to a sushi restaraunt called Uchi for dinner. It was packed and we hear that Gwyneth Paltrow was eating there, making it pretty hard to get a table. Fortunately they're able to seat us in a corner at the bar. We ordered 2 bottles of sake and had amazing sushi.
I was able to get Jess a complimentary SXSW pass for the day I was speaking. I get extremely nervous right before giving a talk, so I was very grateful Jess was able to join me and support me throughout. I don't think I've really ever had anyone come to see me present at a conference before. This meant a lot to me.
After my talk we finally got to spend time together and experience a real trip together for the first time. We tried a bunch more food spots and we rented bikes for a day and explored Austin. We even experienced our first difficult time together. The bike shop gave us the wrong code for our locks and when we stopped at the botanical garden we weren't able to free our bikes. We had to call the bike shop for help and needed to kill time in the parking lot. It felt like nothing, barely an inconvenience. The bikeshop person couldn't find the correct code either and ended up needing the handsaw the lock open to free the bikes.
Our bike ride exploring Austin still to this day was one of my favorite times together. We went to so many places and just hung out the entire day. From finding random monuments to pose in front of to just hanging out at several different parks loafing in the sun, it felt like we were kids following our spirits and wasting the day away together. This is when things began to feel a lot like Love.
May 6th, 2019
Catsitting
Jess is planning a family trip to South Korea for 2 weeks and is looking for someone to look after her cat. I was hesitant to volunteer because in the first few times I met her cat, he shot daggers at me with his eyes. I was nervous he'd cause havoc in my apartment because I thought he didn't like me.
Eventually I agreed and I was carrying him up to my apartment in his crate. He seemed scared the first 2 days since whenever anyone walked through the hallways in my building you could feel every footstep. I was concerned since he spent almost all of the first 48 hours hiding underneath my bed. I lured him out with an occasional cheeto and salmon treats. He eventually warmed up to my apartnent and got comfortable walking arond and claiming a spot on a soft armchair.
We ended up really bonding in those 2 weeks. He would hang next to me as I worked at my desk and he'd jump onto the couch next to me when I watched hockey. I ended up setting up my photography equipment and did a little photoshoot with him. I think we become best friends. I believe this is when I truly get the blessing to be Jess' partner.